basic bitch 101

CONFESSIONS OF A DANGEROUSLY BASIC BITCH

BASIC BITCH 101 -DO YOU FIT THE CRITERIA?

The first time I heard the term ‘basic bitch’ was from a gay friend at work. I had no idea what it meant but from his tone, I gleaned that it was first and foremost a derogatory term. Several weeks later, Kate Moss was thrown off an Easyjet flight for becoming reportedly ‘unruly’ after being refused alcohol and called the pilot of a plane a ‘basic bitch.’ Intrigued, I began to conduct some research into the term. It seemed that basic bitches loved avocados, handstands on beaches, ‘but first, coffee’ memes, the Nashville Insta filter, lip fillers (but only like, .5 of a mm), Michael Kors tan totes and gingham Bardot tops ‘got them like… (insert hands up, dancing Flamenco girl emoji).’ At first I thought, what an awful way to describe women but after further investigation, I began to revel in my own basicness. Sharing protein ball recipes with friends? Sign me up. Rockin’ every trend that sets foot into Penney’s though you’d sworn off fast fashion for Lent? Guilty as charged. Carefully manipulate your food/contents of your desk/books/whatever to create a painfully contrived flaylay. Yes, yes and YES. If you’re unsure as to whether you identify with basicness, read on. There’s a little basic bitch in all of us and she’s just dying to be accepted.

 GANGSTA BASIC BITCH

Likes: Drake, to bake (mostly protein pancakes from Natural Born Feeder) – she’s werkin on her buns but not so much the guns, monogram and lots of it (think Mary J. Blige and oodles of Louis Vuitton), fishnet tights with ripped jeans and Caterpillar boots, 90s chokers, velvet and incorporating acronyms/slang and made-up words into everyday conversation.
Most likely to say:; ‘YOLO! I got hot sauce in my bag. SWAG.
Signature move: Twerkin in her ass-chafing vintage Levis – dem peaches are LIT!
Favourite haunts: Pygmalion, obvs. Two for one pygtails – it’s a no-brainer, bitches.

BASIC BAE

Likes: Beyonce, eyelash extensions, digital marketing, TOWIE/Made in Chelsea/First Dates, cats, Kate Spade stationery, square nails in nude and balayage brown-to-blonde hair extensions.
Most likely to say: #blessed
Signature move: Raise the roof whilst singing ‘whoop, whoop.’
Favourite haunts: Penney’s, two euro.

THE BASIC PROTEIN QWEEN

Likes: Protein, protein bars, protein balls, Louise Thompson and Ryan Libby (ugh, I was a huge Alec fan) wildly exaggerating ‘cheat day’ on Instagram, the Snapchat butterfly filter, Calvin Klein bras and Adidas superstars.
Most likely to say: If it fits my macros, better known as IIFMM.
Signature Move: Squats, natch, as long as it keeps the peaches LIT AF.
Fave haunts: Tang (the sweet potato or protein pancakes are to die for), Mooch and Flye Fit.

EMBRACE YOUR INNER BASICNESS – I DID

When you love fashion, it’s not very cool to be basic. In other words, Mom jeans and fishnet tights are not going to cut it. In the bloggersphere, there is a terrible fear that you might show up to a press event wearing the exact same outfit as four or five other bloggers. Remember the Pippa dress in Penneys? The star-print mini dress with the choker top – I was one of those bloggers who took multiple selfies in it until I sold it on my Depop. Guess what? It didn’t matter a jot to me. I still felt fabulous. So here’s the thing or three.
1. I like being blonde. Yes, my natural hair colour is mid to dark brown and I’m told it would suit my skin tone better but I’ll be damned if I don’t have my signature blonde till the day I DIE. Basic.
2. I LOVE a good gold hoop and I’ve been known to dabble in ones with serrated edges (deal with it). V. basic.
3. I adore avocados and while I’ve never Instagrammed a picture of them, I would definitely Instagram a pic of me on a beach if a) I could do a handstand b) I had the buns and guns of Gisele and c) it was actually warm enough in Ireland ever to attend a beach without the fear of a seagull attacking your tangle twister.

IT’S OK TO BE A BASIC BITCH

While I like to think of myself as a kook, I have many symptoms of basicness in my repertoire and guess what, I’m not afraid to tell you.
– I genuinely enjoy an almond milk matcha latte and I would happily write it on my Insta stories
– Although I have never watched an episode of the Kardashians, I have no problem with them
– I regularly say ‘thanks hun, Penneys.’
– I own and still wear a Juicy Couture tracksuit and it’s not Juicy x Vetements or even ironic it’s just God damn comfortable and it makes my bum look great, OK?
– I love a strong DARK brown eyebrow although my hair is creamy blonde and it in no way matches
-I’m partial to a ‘dem legs tho’ comment on Instagram
– I adore Ru Paul’s drag race
– I am a common white girl who lifts weights, drinks protein shakes
and calls gin and prosecco ‘bae.’

BE YOU BOO (EVEN IF THAT’S A BASIC BAE)

For years I avoided wearing fifties style skirts because, basic. Blonde hair & pink? Basic.com. SO. WHAT. If you want to call yourself an influencer or a micro-influencer and you hashtag MUA after a one week course at Makeup Forever, GO FOR IT.  Be basic, be you, you do you boo. Forget about all the rules and just do what feels good even if everybody else is doing it.

DEETS

Photos: Pearl Phelan. Website here, Facebook here.
Outfit details: Top, €30 and skirt, Savida at Dunnes stores, shoes Penneys, currently in store.

1 Comment

  • Reply Grace June 7, 2017 at 8:19 pm

    Love this! All about the peach! I’m obvs pretty basic. Can’t agree on the fast fashion thing though…

  • Reply HowardBus April 16, 2019 at 10:31 pm Comment awaiting approval

    Truly a lot of beneficial facts!
    http://canadianonlinepharmacynnm.com/
    international pharmacies that ship to the usa canadian pharmacy canada pharmacies canadian drugs
    discount prescription drug
    drug stores near me
    canadian pharmacy 365
    best price prescription drugs
    online pharmacy no prescription needed
    canadian drugs

  • Reply HowardBus April 17, 2019 at 12:36 am Comment awaiting approval

    Thank you, Very good stuff!
    http://canadianpharmacysilo.com/
    overseas pharmacy forum canada drugs online canada pharmacies online prescriptions canada drug
    canadian pharmacy uk delivery
    canadian pharmacies shipping to usa
    drug price
    northwest pharmacy
    canadian pharmacy online canada
    canada drugs

  • Reply Quentinpralp April 17, 2019 at 12:05 pm Comment awaiting approval

    Cheers, Awesome stuff.
    http://canadianonlinepharmacynnm.com/
    pharmacy prices compare online pharmacies canada canada pharmacy online orders canada drugs
    canada drugs pharmacy
    northwest pharmacy
    pharmacy near me
    drugs without prescription
    discount pharmacy online
    drug costs

  • Reply Quentinpralp April 17, 2019 at 1:34 pm Comment awaiting approval

    Very good data. Appreciate it.
    http://www.canadianpharmacymsn.com/
    prescription drugs without prior prescription top rated canadian pharmacies online approved canadian pharmacies online online pharmacies of canada
    pharmacy online store
    canadian drug stores online
    canadian pharmacy viagra
    online pharmacies
    best price prescription drugs
    canada online pharmacy

  • Reply Quentinpralp April 17, 2019 at 5:21 pm Comment awaiting approval

    Good information. With thanks.
    https://nicktambone.com/
    canadian pharmacy meds northwestpharmacy canada pharmacies online prescriptions northwestpharmacy
    prescription drugs online without doctor
    canadapharmacy com
    canadian drugs
    canada drugs online
    canadian pharmacy uk delivery
    prescription drug cost

  • Reply Quentinpralp April 17, 2019 at 10:53 pm Comment awaiting approval

    Great information. Appreciate it!
    http://canadianonlinepharmacynnm.com/
    mexican pharmacy online canadian viagra canada pharmacy online reviews canadianpharmacy
    meds online
    canada pharmacy online reviews
    mail order pharmacies
    best canadian prescription prices
    canadian online pharmacy reviews
    canadian pharmacies

  • Reply Quentinpralp April 18, 2019 at 12:41 am Comment awaiting approval

    Very good information. Many thanks!
    http://talahicc.com/
    canadian mail order pharmacies canadian online pharmacies canadian pharmacy no prescription canada online pharmacies
    canada drug prices
    safeway pharmacy
    cheap prescription drugs
    prescription cost
    online pharmacy canada
    canadian pharmacy viagra

  • Reply Quentinpralp April 18, 2019 at 4:36 am Comment awaiting approval

    Useful facts. Cheers.
    http://canadianpharmacyntx.com/
    buy prescription drugs canada canadian viagra online prescription drugs london drugs canada
    canadian meds
    canadapharmacyonline com
    the canadian pharmacy
    canadian drug store
    canada pharmacies without script
    prescription drug

  • Leave a Reply