The ubiquitous cardigan has long been associated with the nonagenarian set, along with Jameson whiskey parties (all day erryday), politically incorrect phrases like ‘coloured people’ and big girl’s panties where literally all areas are covered. No more. Along came Alessandro Michele for Gucci, resurrecting exiled pieces like the twin set, flamboyant embellishment and now, the sartorial item most associated with terrorists, the balaclava (great news for guerrillas who can now fight the resistance in style).

Breathing new life into the Granny cardi, the fashpack from Michele to Miuccia Prada have decreed it to be au courant, banishing all associations with classic minimalism. Forget Jackie O or Queen E, think more Elton John on crack or Liberace as a confirmation sponsor. Demure no more, hello Demi Moore.

It’s no great secret that I am a Zooey Deschanel fan. If I had to choose between being Stephen Hawking smart and Zooey Deschanel cute, I’d choose the latter – not just because I’m incredibly shallow, basic and extra but because that amount of smarts brings pain, yo. But mainly because Zooey is painfully pretty, amirite? How to do Zooey 2.0? Forget pearls and nude pantyhose (unless you’re a bio Queen – then this is deliciously ironic). Opt instead for some chandel-ear(ings). Read big, ornate, incandescent and hanging like a Paddy after Paddy’s day.

Above all, wear your granny cardi with pride. Adopt the attitude of a mean but kind-hearted 98 year old Granny who will trade her teeth for another glass of Jameson at the retirement community BBQ, throwing shade at anyone under the age of 75 who dares to complain about his joints. And if anyone dares to suggest your back goes out more than you do, see look below for pre-requisite amount of sass.

My cardi is Savida from Dunnes stores, polo neck is Debenhams, pinafore Topshop, tights Wolford satin de luxe and shoes Red or Dead for Schuh. Here’s some more cardis that I love, in order of price. Click on the pic to shop (some of these are affiliate links which means I could potentially get 10-30 if several thousand of you click on them – please do, thanks!). All photos by the wonderful Kieran Russell.

Cardis Under €50

FROM €50-€100

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